We Came Upon A Midnight Clear (Stage, 2020) Mature

Gemma and Abigail are two carol singers who have gone down a wrong path – a very wrong path – and they insist you hear about it. Chances are you’ll never open a door to a carol singer again.

GEMMA (to the audience)

You don’t mind - do you? - if Abigail shares something with us? Won’t take long. Then you can get back to your telly and your mince pies!

(BEAT)

You see... last Christmas -

ABIGAIL (sings)

’I gave him my heart.’

(BEAT)

GEMMA

Well - you didn’t really did you, Abigail?

(BEAT)

In fact - you dropped your moral compass.

(BEAT)

ABIGAIL

Down the figurative drain?

GEMMA

Down the figurative drain.

(BEAT)

Abigail goes down that lonesome, slippery path. I look out for her though.

ABIGAIL

She IS my best friend.

GEMMA

I AM her best friend. I look out for Abigail (draws a rectangle with her fingers) from my figurative bedroom window.

ABIGAIL

Actually it was a REAL bedroom window, Gemma.

(Gemma acknowledges it was a real bedroom window)

I go down that path. The one that leads to -

GEMMA

- Abigail goes down that path to see her dashing new paramour - Dave!

ABIGAIL

(gives a girly giggle)

With a bottle of red in one hand and a corkscrew in the other.

GEMMA

So I follow her - to make sure she’s safe. Tippy toe. Tippy toe.

ABIGAIL

Slippy toe.

GEMMA

To Dave’s garden.

ABIGAIL

And all is well!

GEMMA

It IS Christmas!

The players:

Charlotte Bister and Connie Crosby.

“Nasty but nicely comic entertainment…in 'Owdyado’s twisted world nothing is ever what it seems” Lyn Gardner (Twisted Tales Outdoors)