A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.

This project will initially start life as a web series but we have plans to make it a prime in-house TV Show at Screenology to give students the experience of working on a real television production (with MA Writers on our forthcoming programme the opportunity to develop the series).  The pilot episode has been written by established TV writer Claire Miller (Theodosia, Casualty, Eastenders, Stella, Young Dracula). 

SYNOPSIS

They say it takes a whole village to raise a child, Madeleine, Charlotte, Emma and Vicky are hoping the four of them will do.

First there was Madeleine, 38, the salmon. Adaptable and self-sacrificing Maddy thought she was baby proof until she was hit by the biological juggernaut ten years into her marriage. Unable to ignore the call upstream she divorced her happily child-free husband and made plans to solve the problem scientifically.

After several attempts at AI, high on hormones and low on funds, Maddy decided to fill her empty nest. Renting out rooms to other wannabe solo mums Maddy thinks her flatshare in Kensal Rise might just revolutionize the nuclear family...

First on the hook was the guppy. Polyandrous and predatory Charlotte, 29, won’t let the fact that she’s single get in the way of becoming pregnant before she’s 30.

Without the cash to hit the sperm bank, she’s decided to get knocked up the old-fashioned way – six pints of Carling and a game of condom poker.

Exotic and aggressive, angelfish Emma, 42, was Maddy’s next catch. Already mother to a terrifying teenager she’s determined to get things right the second time around. Blaming her ex for her son’s genetic mutations, perfectionist Emma is set on planning her latest progeny from the sperm up.

Last on the line was our spiky and independent pufferfish, Vicky, 36. Vicks doesn’t intend to remain childless just because she’s keeping her relationships spermless. Confident she’ll find a girlfriend when the time is right she’s persuaded Zac, her gloriously gay best friend to donate generously to the cause.

Cycling Fish is a frank and light-hearted look at four very different women who, together but alone, have chosen to swim against the tide.

• How will Maddy cope when she struggles to conceive, especially when all her protégés are expecting?


• When Charlotte falls for one of her one-night stands how will she tell him that she’s pregnant and she’s not sure if it’s his?


• Having designed her baby down to its dimples how will Emma react when she learns she’s having twins?


• What will Vicky do when Zac tries to convince her to straighten up for their baby’s sake?